Tag Archives: xbox 360

Lost Planet 3 (Xbox 360) Review

lostplanet3

“Materials are cribbed from science fiction tropes, and Lost Planet 3 is so brazen in its theft, it’s hard not to appreciate how aggressively mined these elements are. Scoring, under the auspicious cover of limited electronica, captures the unnerving aridness of Ridley Scott’s Alien. Duck, cover, and rolls ping Gears of War’s brawny defense, while newly constructed, intimidating shocks cull Dead Space “inspired” fright. Embellishments of the HUD, including visibly floating wrist displays, are unafraid of displaying wholesale mimicry.”

Read my full Lost Planet 3 review at Classic Game Room

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Dynasty Warriors 8 (Xbox 360) Review

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Dynasty Warriors 8 perks up from under its worn historical narrative with Ambition mode, a lightly layered construction fest, introducing wartime romps in a search for materials. Those boards and nails piece together a monument for visiting kings, arguably adding oxygen to a suffocatingly mundane fable locked into marketable history.”

Read my full Dynasty Warriors 8 review at Classic Game Room

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Ride to Hell: Retribution (Xbox 360) Review

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“As we stupefyingly and erroneously seek out gaming’s Citizen Kane, we have instead landed on the societal equal of I Spit on Your Grave, a monstrous 1978 rape fantasy of zero scope or ambition. Ride to Hell is damning, releasing as the industry at large elected to make stepping stones towards equality. It instead continues to shrewdly debase part of its audience without reprieve, creating a vision of uncultured male dominance.

Ride to Hell is perfunctory, shambled pieces of a once noble, freeing, open world biker fantasy revealed in 2008 or so, sliced to revel in its own sub-mediocrity as Deep Silver cashes in squandered development. We live in an era of diversity, respected manufacturer Harley Davidson touting expansive lifestyles surrounding mechanical culture in advertising campaigns. Ride to Hell instead chooses to exist in a Twilight Zone of its own doing, where the only good biker is one holding a knife. Debate swirling around Ride to Hell should be relegated to whether it is more reprehensible in its portrayal of women, motorcycle enthusiasts, or PTSD sufferers.”

Read my full review of Ride to Hell: Retribution at Classic Game Room

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Deadpool (Xbox 360) Review

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“Deadpool’s world is one of internet memes, lusciously delicious pancakes, and failed misogyny, not necessarily in that order. Our effervescent, often delusional hero demolishes fourth walls as a hyper active star of his own video game, stopping to take well endowed, controlled bathroom breaks for the delight of a consistently acknowledged player.”

Read my full review of Deadpool at Classic Game Room

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Remember Me (Xbox 360) Review

rememberme

“It is fair to consider grandiose visual style and remarkably adept musical selections as covers to a sickly, rookie development effort by French studio Dontnod. Not only is it fair, it’s true. Remember Me’s corrosive jitters and unpolished motion are encompassed with its ideas, not its play. Nilin’s overtly boxy brawling style is beautiful if cumbersome, counteracting the lack of assurance on foot. Inexplicable level design cherishes ledge vaulting, making one wonder how the average citizen wanders place to place. Fights are predicated by stage arrangement, open spaces flowing from trapped hallways otherwise insufficient for the flow of Remember Me’s contested ideals.”

Read the rest at Classic Game Room

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Grid 2 (Xbox 360) Review

grid2

Grid 2 is a technically acute marvel, a creation of system horsepower and generous visual articulation intended to craft hyper real scenarios. Trim frame rates add cinematic qualities instead of lessening the visual aura, baking in atmosphere, rubber burns or reflecting steel. Towering and claustrophobic, Chicago and London give Grid 2 a language without dopey, predictable runs under location specific landmarks. Notable skyline necessities, Sears Tower, Eiffel Tower or Arc de Triomphe, are passive objects, lending authority to otherwise fictional motor sport endeavors.”

Read the full Grid 2 Review at Classic Game Room

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Fast & Furious Showdown (Xbox 360) Review

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Showdown wants calculated mayhem, choreographed ballets of spinning, drifting, and smashing cars, all ludicrously expensive. Opening salvos are equivalent to, “Hulk Smash!” as a specially designed flipper car jacks innocent civilians to their deaths. Non-essential passersby are uprooted while following rote pathways, performing mimicry to dopey friendly AI, oblivious to what must be a CNN Breaking News alert happening right in front of them.”

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May 24, 2013 · 3:58 pm

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Metro Last Light (Xbox 360) Review

“One can hardly imagine the stench, gas mask filters siphoned from the dead, although an improvement from miles of shredded deceased. Flies latch onto Artyom’s mask expecting to feed; they’re not used to seeing something alive. Underground Metro was forced into service, and societies’ morgues have no place. Even the liveliest of towns, one considered a cultural center, are tattered. Bodies lay just outside its doorways. Outskirts, areas split from railways, are havens to outcasts, murderers and rapists committing deeds under the cover of isolation. Last Light carries an unseen morality system, silently judging Artyom’s approach to these stray encounters. Killing is not a free act, carrying consequences that mold the fiction’s close.”

Read the rest at Classic Game Room

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May 22, 2013 · 2:18 am

Star Trek: The Video Game Review

startrekgame

Star Trek is a walking cliché. The Enterprise responds to a routine beacon before the story is stampeded for the sake of wall climbing, partner lifting, ledge walking, vent crawling, and hearty shooting. Star Trek is a condensed form of the third-person shooter, built on the backs of others without seeming to understand what catapulted the competition to success.”

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May 18, 2013 · 1:04 am

Injustice: Gods Among Us (Xbox 360) Review

injustice

Injustice is filled with ridiculous antics, the type that keep discovery highlighted. Multiplayer battles, online or off, catapult the level of competitiveness as heroes are blasted through walls into separate arenas. Stage shifts are not only technical marvels, but absurdly overdone as to involve villains excised from the core roster, earth movers, missile launchers, or helicopters. These would be sanguine fatalities in Mortal Kombat. Here, they become part of the routine strife.”

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May 17, 2013 · 2:07 am